Sunday, 31 March 2013

Bad Decisions. Great Stories. New Beginnings.

Things we do not expect happen more often than we wish. Anticipation of something that's never going to happen in your hopeful possibilities is the worst form of human torture. Ask a dying man his last wish. Seldom would you find one asking for nothing. Sounds hilarious, doesn't it? Someone dying with all their wishes fulfilled. And that's where the crux of it all lies. The entire gist of it comes down to letting go. We, humans, take immense pride in embracing what mutilates us. We're nurtured with the notion to endeavour whatever it is that we want till our last breath, and if we don't achieve it, die trying. I'm sure the grass is always greener on the other side, and when I reach there, I can see the weeds up close. Until then, I'll try watering my own premature grass. You'll be told to attempt harder, but none will appreciate if you find your own America. We are used to seeing results, but the effort is what we ignore. We brand those strong who try to never fail. But strong people are those who have known defeat, struggle, suffering, known loss. and have found their way out of the depths. They have made their own grass. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness and a deep loving concern. Strong people don't just happen. And then there comes a time when you are your only escape. And one fine day, you'll understand the mediocrity of it all. And that's when letting go will seem like the best option. But it would have been too late by then. And being rescued would appear to the just the remedy for you. And people thought rescuing was romantic. Sure!

And then you'll see him coming along one day. Tall, big grin, strong, egoistic, yet attentive. He'll make you think, make you wonder again. Wonder about where have you been standing so long, about what exactly have you been doing in life, about why suddenly he takes so much care of you. It'll scare you. Haunt you. He'll make you believe that the mere purpose of life is to be happy. he'll make you realise that if you're quite with a guy, he's definitely the wrong one. He'll make you love more than you hate, and you'll surely detest that about him. He'll even make you do stupid things, wrong things, so that you don't miss out on anything. Everything will always be a first with him. 

And when you'll be up late, one night. You'll step out. Feel the breeze tease you. Walk on the cold grass, and feel the dew tickle your toes, and think of what had been, and what is everything now. You'll smile. Because even though you might have a bad hair day, have a tough day at work, have messed up schedules, and even more messed up make-up, you'll smile. Because you'll know that life is okay. With him, things are fine.

"Someone holds his life in you, and someone somewhere defines you as perfect." 



Dewy-eyed,
Ak.

Sunday, 24 March 2013

Past Her

Clamping on firmly to the reminisces suffocate them. Take it easy, take it slow. At times, even the most unencumbered flashes taunt the very essence of what was being. The reverting silence hurts. It wounds you. Surprising, and mocking you as well. Telling you weren't enough. The essentiality of it wasn't enough. Wait! Don't stop. Think, feel, think again. It wasn't worthless. Worthless defines a whole lot of life's otherwise created nuisances. Anything, but that. Shut your eyes. I know you still seek her. The mystery that she is, has kept you on your toes. Her irrelevance to whatever she did and said, drew you to her. Her way of talking in circles, and still establishing perfect sense for you withdrew your frowns. Wait, stop, look. She stood there. Aloof, amongst the crowd. As you were. But something about her made her mingle with the aliens enveloping her. She was all that was for you to foresee. And just as she brushed past you, her woody, fruity hint sent you on a spin. You heard her low, attentive, husky voice, and the quick gasps she took while walking. It all took your breath away. The silent gushing of her sandals reminds you of the way she swayed, complementing the wind around her. And each time you reminisce, you lose her, her woody, fruity scent, bit by bit. As if it were your price to pay for remembering her each time you did. 

One of the trip pictures. 
See you around, companèros.
Working, talking, and sleeping,
Ak.

Thursday, 14 March 2013

Too Much, I Tell You!

Too much creativity surrounding my life, eh?
So, thanks to Ajay, who's created this award called Creative Blogger. 



So following are the rules.


1) Okay, so since Ajay has been too kind to award me, I'm going to go ahead being modest and confess that I totally deserved it. LOL. Kidding. I really thank him for this. It's a major boost. Although I agree that I have been seriously not doing much to this blog, I promise to be back with a bang! =D

2) a. Three things about myself,

  • I'm throw things when I lose my head.
  • I never remember things I do when I feel sleepy. It's almost like I'm sloshed.
  • I'm going to bed nowadays with my socks on.
    b. Two things people don't know about me,
  • I love Red Velvet Cake.
  • I've started paying visits to salons. 
    c. I would want to change my hair. I cut them REALLY short          last summer, and it's about time I grow them back. 
 

3) Okay, soooo...
a. Petty
b. Ironic
c. Cool
d. Happiness
e. Clueless
f. First love
g. Afterlife
h. Life
i. Wrestling
j. Akanksha (Witty, na? I know!)
k. Buzo <3
l. God
m. H(e)aven
n. *pukes*
o. Awesome

4) Nominate bloggers. Wokay! I would like to give this award to:
Kanika at Sensitive Chaos
Nilanjana at ~Nil
Priyanka at The Voice In My Head

5) Ask Bloggers a few questions.
a. What if pigs actually have money inside them? Would you slice'em up to check?
b. What is the worst pick-up line you've been hit upon by?
c. Which God do you presume is a fashionista?
d. Do you believe in hate at first sight?
e. Is Polo an illegitimate kid to doughnuts?
f. What made Passion Fruit have the name it does?

6) Inform the bloggers you've awarded. On my wayyy!

See you around, companèros.
A little more hopeful in life,
Ak.

Tuesday, 12 March 2013

Yet Another Day.

All right! Befor anything else, I WILL post abou the amazing award Ajay rewarded me with! 
Conference shizz going on in college. Three days of kickass shit. Yeah, I know, I promised to refrain from using any colloquial adjectives containing ass, but what the hell!
Too many cool people in the surroundings. 

College in an integral phase. You live it to grow, and know yourself. Knowing all categories of people, which is missing from school life, tells you a lot about yourself. Well more in the way of helping you realize them.

I hate:

  • Hypocrites. Passionately! I feel like beating the living pulp out of them each time they open their mouth. 
  • Boy-crazy girls. I guess whoever it is, they're already aware, so I'm waiting to see the time when they drop dead themselves. 
  • Irresponsibility. Beats the bloody shit out of my mind's calmness. 
  • Confrontations. Worst. Thing. Ever. 
  • People way too madly in love. Mean of me, I know. It just is. I'm sorry.
  • Frustration. As comfortable it might be getting frustrated on every one, and every little thing, I detest it.
  • Over-thinking people. Grow up!
  • People who think I'm obsessed with my work. You need a life. I've found mine.
And I love:
  • Happiness. I miss every inch of it on my face, in heart, and mind.
  • Ingenuity. For some reason.
  • Stability. Obviously!
  • Churches. Beautiful.
  • Red Velvet Cake. Yeah, my friends are putting up with an argument that they've finally turned me into a girl. 
  • Singing. As bad as I can get at it, I sing when I feel angry, and Phuieewww! it's all gone.
  • A few Hindi songs. Yeah, finally. 
  • Death metal forever. <3
  • Good hearts. Genuine people. 
  • Direct people. An those who're not, keep sticking your ass with seniors for the while, okay? Okay. 
  • Truth. As hard it is sometimes, its solace is comfortable.
  • Iced tea. And butter cookies.
  • My work. Without a doubt. 

I be back with much awesomeness, companèros.
Tired, and ever sleepy,
Ak.

Thursday, 7 March 2013

Ignorance Is Bliss. Not.

I broke down yesterday at the end of the day. Bad, really bad. Hasn't happened in almost a decade. The way to extract all your frustration out, which has simply been piling up due to your own ignorance. Ignorance that keeps you protected from the world. Ignorance that doesn't permit you to evade your vulnerability to the world. The same damn ignorance that taunts your cynicism each day, telling you that you're breaking apart inside. Irresponsibility, negligence, unpunctuality, lies, choices, options, time, aloofness - everything is getting to the best and worst of me. It's leaving me irritated, and agitated, exasperated, ostentatiously angry and weepy. There could have only been two things - either I could have beaten everyone who came in front of me into a pulp, or wept - which I certainly did. Plus my foot refuses to be healed, over which days of constantly bending over your table has given me perennial body ache that just doesn't seem to go away. Case study submission tomorrow. Lots to do. Still. But I will be back. Happier. When I'll once again realise that I'm enough for myself and don't need nobody. And then I'll be laughing again, writing again, confessing again. 

Waiting to sleep,
Ak.