Tuesday, 26 December 2017

BlogMas 2017 Day Twenty Four - BlogMas End

Hello. It's Day Twenty Four, and the last day of Christmas.
My blogging this year has been most irregular. And yet, this year I had more people reading me up than ever. Through work, late nights, and wear and tear, I tried my best to finish it. 
A very Merry Christmas to all of you. I hope you had a great and a thankful one. There's always time lost in lives, there's always things to be done and there's always some lessons learnt from it too. Wait. All of us are long exposure photographs. Just wait, something beautiful will definitely turn out if it.

Merry Christmas. I'll see you in 2018.
Until then.


Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.
A.

BlogMas 2017 Day Twenty Three - 24

Hello. It's Day Twenty Three!
I turned 24. 
I believe in Santa Claus. 
I don't think repression saves you from anything potentially hurtful or helps you get anywhere.
 I don't think the universe gets you what you want, you have to fight for it lock, stock and barrel. 
I don't think there's any such thing as happiness or sadness, you just are. You're just energy.
I think there are always people who are wishing you well. 
I think all of us are secretly a bit of villains ourselves inside. 
I think only friendships last.
 Nobody is ever good enough, you only need to be that for yourself. 
I think we all crave limelight and turn tail from it at the same time.
There is absolutely nothing as beautiful as getting a hug from a person who's been missing you.
There is also nothing as comparable to the warmth in a closeness with another human.
I think you can easily fall in love at first sight. You can also fall out of it in one sight.
I somehow always wake up at 3:37am.
I think questions we ask ourselves are nothing but self-assurance to keep us going.
We tell ourselves 'told you so' more than others tell us. It's a fact.
Listening to music always gets you by. Crying, too.
I think it's a little of everyday. The big things happen when they have to. It's all the minuses in between.
I think getting away with someone for a while is always helpful. 
I think the world is angrier at themselves than it is at others. Though we have an odd way of showing it.
I think we can survive anything. Anything at all. As long as we don't have an option.
I think all of us obscure our lives so much, it now takes very little, and something painfully simple to impress us.
I think it's okay to not listen, if you don't wish to. I also think we all need just one deep breath.

Until then.



Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.
A.

BlogMas 2017 Day Twenty Two - Wait.

Hello. It's Day Twenty Two!
Each time my work holds me from blogging on time, I just feel the excitement of edging closer to Christmas and the end of BlogMas slips down a few notches just that much. But, you do what you got to. And amidst all this work and thrill of chaos and order around you at the same time, is probably what pulls me back time and again, regardless of my exhaustion. Completely taking into account this time a lot of my posts have been a couple days late, I've thoroughly enjoyed this BlogMas. Since the day I started blogging, I've tried to be like my blog as much as I could. It's been there with me through thick and thin, and through the worst of days. It's still been here when I've ignored it, and even when I've cursed out loud a few times for the obligation of having to finish BlogMas. That is also how all of us are in life. As humans, we are so comfortable accepting that we are flawed, we easily excuse ourselves from situations we need to be a little dour with ourselves. We absolve ourselves thinking how much we've earned a break. And through all of that my blog has been more human than a massive chunk of our world. And that's what Christmas is all about. Giving a bit more of what you give yourself, to others as well.

Until then.



Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.
A.

Saturday, 23 December 2017

BlogMas 2017 Day Twenty One - Treasure

Hello. It's Day Twenty One!
We make the blunder of assuming everything will last in our lives every single day. When you think something will last, you take it for granted. And, I can't fathom if our generation does half the things it does because they care or because they're curious. However, either of it doesn't stop us from taking more on. Only hindrance being that to take everything we want on, we have to make room by scrunching it in spaces that we filled for ourselves. Take a breath. If something at all, I've learnt this year is to not pile myself with something because I might need it. I learnt that it's more important to make memories than be stuck under the weight of something you elected annex ourselves with the load of whatever catches our fancy. And whenever you need, you might find traces of everything you've fallen for in the truest, most pristine and undiluted way in the places you created them memories. Not in the sense of having to run away from it, and keep your life simpler. Just because we speak finically of things we contemplate about most. Breathe, and believe.

Until then.



Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.
A.

Friday, 22 December 2017

BlogMas 2017 Day Twenty - Excused

Hello. It's Day Twenty!
What do you miss having? Winters. 
What are you hiding? Doodles.
What is it that makes you nostalgic? Mohammed Rafi.
What grounds you? Dad. 
What awes you? Mom.
What repulses you? Disdain. 
What scandalises you? Boys.
What habit stops you from loving something else? Habits.
What's your drug? Architecture. 
What's your poison? Me. 
What's your weakness? Brother.
What does the back of your notebook say? Bye.
Who is that hidden note in your wallet from? Dad.
Which book is stuffed in the corners of your shelves you're possessive of? Tales of Two Cities.
What turns you on? Kindness. 
What turns you off? Ego.
What's your name? Clio. 
What season do you like? Winters.
What does your coffee taste like? Bitter. 
What time are you most vulnerable? Now.
What is it you keep retreating to? Walks. 
Where is your hiding place? On the road.
Why that shirt? The perfume.
How old is your grandma? 70.
How tall is your list of ambition? Still growing. 
How come your eyes are green in light? Not. Brown.
How come you don't like pasta? Married it.
Which dress makes you look sexy? Just me. 
What's your jam? Strawberry.
What song do you cry to? Jee Ve. 
When do you cry? While PMSing.
How come you never wear that shirt? The colour.
Why didn't you finish that painting? That was the beauty of it.
Who did you punch last? A boy?
Who did you kiss last? A boy?
 Who did you call last? Mom. 
Who did you miss last? None.
Which ice-cream is your favourite? Chocolate mint.
Do you like sushi? Love. 
Or a cookie? Sushi.
What is your most successful moment? Dad being proud.
When was the last time you failed? Today.
How many times have you failed? At least twice everyday.
How brutally honest are you? 32423. 
Or, just brutal? Always.
How many hearts have you broken? I'd like to think 353463
 How many hearts have you repaired? I'd like to think 4345345
Did you make someone smile today? Yes.
Did you hug someone today? Yes. 
Did you get a hug today? No.
Did you pet a dog? No. 
Do you have a dog? Maybe.
Do you hate cats, then? Maybe. 
Or maybe just pissed at cliches? That, too.
Do you have a middle name? No.
When did you last go swimming? Last year. 
Or skinny dipping? .......
When was the last time you never woke up? Last month.
When was the last time you ever felt? Never stopped. 
Or never felt? Only if.
What time is suitable for you to take lives? 10PM
Are you a murderer? Yes
Would the killing of a dream count? Foremost
When was the last you had cake? A few weeks? 
Or baked? A couple years?
When was the last time you sketched? Today.
When was the last time you snapped? Today.
When was the last you put make-up? Umm.
When was the last you went on a date? Ummmmm.
When was the last you bought your choice of beer? Two weeks ago.
When was..... Just.

Ever took a breath and asked yourself all this? Took one.


Until then.



Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.
A.

BlogMas 2017 Day Nineteen - Now

Hello. It's Day Nineteen!
I want to get lost for a while. Absolutely irretrievable. 
I don't want to think about my circumferences or my boundaries. 
I want to be cast away. I want to be at sea, I want to be at mountains. 
I want to be alone, I want to be in a crowd. 
I want to assist in an orphanage, I want to be in a gang. 
I want to be numb, I want to be wailing. 
I want to have theatricals, I want to have mellowness. 
I want some tight hugs, I want to be running away from people.
I want to love abundantly, I want to hate redundantly. 
I want to be black and white, I want to be grey. 
I want to be beautiful, I want to be sharp. 
I want to gulp coffee, I want to sip teas. 
I want to curl my hair, I want to go bald.
I want to travel, I want to settle. 
I want to build, I want to break.
 I want to be a haiku, I want to be a novel.
I want to be blithe, I want to be an artist.
I want to fly, I want to drown.
I want to read Dickens, I want to read Kafka.
I want to be classy, I want to be a fool.
I want to be a friend, I want to be an enemy.
I want to be lost, I want to stay lost.

Until then.



Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.
A.

Wednesday, 20 December 2017

BlogMas 2017 Day Eighteen - Take 300517

Hello. It's Day Eighteen!
I don't buy that people are like books. We aren't an assemblage of chapters or an assortment of short stories for someone to decipher. I think all of us are movies. There's one, and it's final. The only difference is some people can afford an interim, while most slog off into oblivion. Probably that's why we enjoy movies. Probably, that's also why we enjoy seeing other people pass through their lives, liking some, hating some. And while we're busy appreciating someone else's movie, we often forget that we don't have to be wary of ourselves while we admire others. It's in that transition of forgetting to love yourself, we leave track of our own fables. And we forget that the little things aren't so little. Sometimes we dispossess our sense of control from one take to another. But, just like in the films when there's a pause of change taking place, where you don't know what's going to hit you next, that's where the universe is panning things out for you. That lull of a few minutes between ending and beginning, that's where you really are alive. Watch out for the next one.

Until then.




Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.
A.

Tuesday, 19 December 2017

BlogMas 2017 Day Seventeen - Stop.Stare.Stare.

Hello. It's Day Seventeen! And barely a week to Christmas.
It's a heady thought. To be someone's knight. To have someone believe in you so recklessly, you feel invincible. Isn't that what all of us are unknowingly looking out for? For someone to make us seem unassailable? Or is it something they just merely want us to believe? Power, fame, money, love, hatred, friendship, kindness - all in their own capacity yield the unyielded in us. And yet, we are at our rockiest when another human does the same. And it's such a twisted little thing, you know. We are amongst the most evolved. And when something as concrete as a human mind affects another, to make it feel invincible, it's a drug like no other. Perhaps, its the kind of chapter in all of our lives we never recite vociferously. It's that one secret summer from all our lives. Perhaps. And this is not a thought that's too important, but I can't help give it one anyway. Are we made to feel unbreakable because they need someone strong in their lives? Someone to lean by, and hold them through the rocky? Though this does make me feel that the ones with the capacity to instil all those feelings inside of you are more invincible than the rest of us. They might not know to be strong enough, but they sure have mastered the art of strengthening someone else for their fragility. And it's the most exhausting thing to do in life. To be strong for others. This clinches you into nothingness. It's like standing on quicksand. Because what if when you no longer have to be strong for anyone? And to get out of the swamp, you need someone just as indestructible as you were to another. It's a vicious cycle. But, you know what they say about you becoming the person you love.

Until then.



Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.
A.

Monday, 18 December 2017

BlogMas 2017 Day Sixteen - !

Hello. It's Day Sixteen!
Time passes anyway, doesn't it? And we never realise the point where our losses transition from being that to just another stories in our lives. And it's essential for that point to come in because traveling back in time is not an option. But what if it was? What's the first thought that creeps into your mind when you imagine getting the chance to change certain happenstances or something you did or someone you met? And you can figure that out only when you have learnt what you really want or who you really want to be out of it. And that's the problem with most of us. We don't really know ourselves enough to answer that question. Or does anyone? I reckon everyone struggles all their lives to find out who they really are. And anybody who says they don't, are just plain lazy. Everyone struggles. Everyone is stuck in a vast, unending bedsheet life wrapped them in and we all are just tussling our way out. And all of us are mighty curious what the other end holds or what happens when we stop tussling altogether. Are we grounded forever holding unanswered questions or someone helps take the coat off of us? What is it that you always wanted to make happen? I have a list so long, it might as well replace the bucket one. And having scroll of what we mostly just call regrets doesn't make you unlovable. It just means you can be lost and loved, all the same. Pick up the phone. Change what you want to. Get what you desire. 
You took a chance to make something happen in your life which you want to change or recreate now anyways, so might as well take one more. Make sense of what you truly need. We take a lot of commas in life as full stops. And it's up to you to cap that sentence. And if it ain't a comma, be cheeky, throw caution to the wind, tell them you detest the words used by someone else for your wordage, and reframe the entire damn sentence. Longings pass, compulsions don't.

Until then.



Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.
A

Sunday, 17 December 2017

BlogMas 2017 Day Fifteen - #

Hello. It's Day Fifteen!
Assuredly, bringing myself up to date with this one. Since the last two days were also posted recently, you can catch them on Day13 and Day14.
There are always somethings very known between two people. Manifested, yet mute. This taciturnity, on even the worst days I feel, subsists the most vital air around them. The things unuttered, yet understood are the kinds I'm afraid of the most. It's not even what we call reading between the lines. It's just plain understood within the shared understanding of people who understand each other. Keep thinking. Joke.

Words for me are powerful. I don't hold actions above words. It's easy to pretend and smile and be polite. The words are where you find all your answers. I'm always scared of what people are going to orate next. Words are so important to me, I fall into the category of stupid who'll take your word over your sign if you mean it. And I have an elephant's memory. Things said to me, stay with me like a ghost. And I have collected some brilliantly genius ones, some intelligent ones, happy and sad ones. And on the worst of days, they battle with each other over the tenancy of my mind. We lie. WE lie all the time. And the matter of contention here is that every ghost you collect through your life, are spun out of lies or conveniences. And sometimes, these ghosts scar more than just hovering around. Words aren't just that. With every word you remember, comes a costless dead-eye. And every sense only aggravates each memory. The vision, the smell, the taste, the words, the atmosphere, the intangibles. They all harmoniously work towards breaking you down nice and easy. Just like rainwater, drop by drop over years smothers a rock. Be generous. You don't know the ghost you're leaving behind. 

Until then.


Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.
A

BlogMas 2017 Day Fourteen - 201...

Hello. It's Day Fourteen!
2017 has been eventful. Work, people, movies, writing, books, music, love, friendships, dance, drinking, singing, jumping, crying, laughing, cry-laughing, eating, starving, sleeping, running, I have lived this year. And more than living this year, I felt restless as ever. I felt alive. I felt electric. 

Until then.


Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.
A.

BlogMas 2017 Day Thirteen - Break

Hello. It's Day Thirteen!
I know this and the next one is coming up a couple days late, but I've been slogging just a wee bit more than usual, so pardon me. So I'm going to keep this one rather simple and jot down some of my favourite things I worded and are still date so very close to my heart.







Until then.


Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.
A.

Thursday, 14 December 2017

BlogMas 2017 Say Twelve - Nadir

Hello. It's Day Twelve!
An anaesthetic mind is a brilliant one, but also an apathetic one at that. Numbness is a nearly adamant quality to adapt as a human. But as humans we're also immensely soft inside. One merely needs a hand and we disintegrate into a million masses of a million people who've been living inside us all our lives. Real isn't what you feel when you're by yourself. You're really your true self once in your life when everything you take as gospel comes crashing down in front of you. When you're busy dissipating along with your beliefs. We all find lost pieces of ourselves in various people we meet everyday. I hardly believe we like anyone because they're similar to us or completely opposite to us. I, undisputedly, regard that we like people who're missing what you dropped off somewhere a long time ago. Because you associate more easily with that sparseness than you do with what you both endow. And we're always looking to lose certain pieces like nomads. Because, why not? It makes life lighter. But in this bleaching fact, we forget, that each of us is a puzzle cut into uncommon pieces. As and when we keep dropping some of them carelessly, we won't be able to fit a new one again should we want to, for that piece chimes with someone else's puzzle. Keep all your pieces safe. There's a lot more in there than you anticipate. It's heavy to sometimes carry all of them altogether at once, and some days it takes a superhuman attempt to do so. Because you'll still have your pieces to build your way out from when you hit nadir. 

Until then.


Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.
A.